Tips Menghilangkan Rasa Malas

WartaNews-Jakarta - Rasanya banyak diantara kita yang punya “penyakit” suka menunda-nunda pekerjaan. Penyakit ini, yang sebetulnya adalah kebiasaan, seringkali disebabkan karena kita malas mengerjakan sesuatu. Malas bangun dari tempat tidur, malas pergi olahraga, malas menyelesaikan tugas kantor, dll.

Menurut penelitian, kebiasaan malas merupakan penyakit mental yang timbul karena kita takut menghadapi konsekuensi masa depan. Yang dimaksud dengan masa depan ini bukan hanya satu atau dua tahun kedepan tetapi satu atau dua menit dari sekarang. Contohnya saja ketika Anda malas dari bangun, Anda akan berkata dalam hati.

“Satu menit lagi saya akan bangun”, tetapi kenyataannya barangkali Anda akan berlama-lama di tempat tidur sampai akhirnya memang waktunya tiba untuk siap-siap pergi ke kantor.

Kebiasaan malas timbul karena kita cenderung mengaitkan masa depan dengan persepsi negatif. Anda menunda-nunda pekerjaan karena cenderung membayangkan setumpuk tugas yang harus dilakukan di kantor. Belum lagi berhubungan dengan orang-orang yang Anda tidak sukai, misalnya.

Sayangnya, menunda-nunda pekerjaan pada akhirnya akan mengundang stress karena mau tidak mau satu saat Anda harus mengerjakannya. Di waktu yang sama Anda juga mungkin punya banyak pekerjaan lain.

Dalam beberapa hal, Anda pun mungkin akan kehilangan momen untuk berkembang ketika Anda mengatakan “tidak” terhadap sebuah kesempatan –Anda malas bertindak karena bayangan negatif tentang hal-hal yang memberatkan didepan.

Dan ini adalah beberapa tips yang mungkin bisa mengubah kebiasaan tersebut:

Ganti “Kapan Selesainya” dengan “Saya Mulai Sekarang”

Apabila Anda dihadapkan pada satu tugas besar atau proyek, Anda sebaiknya JANGAN berpikir mengenai rumitnya tugas tersebut dan membayangkan kapan bisa diselesaikan. Sebaliknya, fokuslah pada pikiran positif dengan membagi tugas besar tersebut menjadi bagian-bagian yang lebih kecil dan menyelesaikannya satu demi satu.

Katakan setiap kali Anda bekerja: “Saya mulai sekarang”.
Cara pandang ini akan menghindarkan Anda dari perasaan terbebani, stress, dan kesulitan. Anda membuat sederhana tugas didepan Anda dengan bertindak positif. Fokus Anda hanya pada satu hal pada satu waktu, bukan banyak hal pada saat yang sama.

Ganti “Saya Harus” dengan “Saya Ingin”

Berpikir bahwa Anda harus mengerjakan sesuatu secara otomatis akan mengundang perasaan terbebani dan Anda menjadi malas mengerjakannya. Anda akan mencari seribu alasan untuk menghindari tugas tersebut.

Satu tip yang bisa Anda gunakan adalah mengganti “saya harus mengerjakannya” dengan “saya ingin mengerjakannya”. Cara pikir seperti ini akan menghilangkan mental blok dengan menerima bahwa Anda tidak harus melakukan pekerjaan yang Anda tidak mau.

Anda mau mengerjakan tugas karena memang Anda ingin mengerjakannya, bukan karena paksaan pihak lain. Anda selalu punya pilihan dalam kehidupan ini. Tentunya pilihan Anda sebaiknya dibuat dengan sadar dan tidak merugikan orang lain. Intinya adalah tidak ada seorang pun di dunia ini yang memaksa Anda melakukan apa saja yang Anda tidak mau lakukan. (*/VD)

12 Tips for Overcoming Anger and Gaining Peace

By Remez Sasson

Anger appears when one is confronted with frustration, unhappiness or hurt feelings, or when plans don't turn out as desired. It also shows up when coming against opposition or criticism.

Anger never helps anyone. It wastes your energy, and can hurt your health, spoil your relationships, and cause you to miss opportunities. Getting angry is acting against your best interests.

Things don't always proceed according to plans and expectations. People not always act the way you wish them to act. You may not be always able to be in control of external influences and conditions, but you can certainly learn to control your attitude and reactions. There is no sense of allowing circumstances and people to pull your strings and affect your mind and feelings. You can choose not to let what people say and do affect your moods. You can maintain an inner attitude of emotional and mental detachment, and refuse to allow every minor event play with your feelings and evoke anger.

I often see people getting angry over unimportant and insignificant matters. Some insignificant remark or action, not getting a satisfactory reply to a question or just moodiness are enough to set fire and cause anger, snappy remarks, arguments and even physical fights. This is absolutely unnecessary. Life can be happier without this behavior.

Anger is a negative reaction, and if you wish to progress on the path of self-improvement or spiritual growth you should avoid it as much as possible.

Learning to calm down the restlessness of the mind and gaining peace of mind, is one of the best and most effective methods to overcome anger, and in fact, all negative emotions.

If you are willing to invest the time and energy, you will reap great rewards. Peace of mind will not only help you overcome anger, but also help you overcome anxiety and negative thinking, and enable you to stay calm, tranquil and self possessed in difficult and trying situations.

Peace of mind requires the development of an attitude of emotional and mental detachment, which is of vital importance for overcoming and avoiding anger. It protects you against being too affected by what people think, say or do, and is therefore highly recommended. Detachment is not an attitude of indifference and lack of sensitivity. It is an attitude of common sense and inner strength and leads to peace of mind.

I would like to suggest a few simple tips for inner detachment and peace of mind, which will help you overcome anger:

1. Devote a few minutes, at least once a day, to thinking on how much your life would be better without anger.

2. When you feel anger arising in you, start breathing deeply and slowly several times.

3. You may, instead of breathing deeply, or better still, in addition to it, count slowly from one to ten. This will delay your angry reaction and weaken it.

4. Drinking some water has a calming effect on the body.

5. Try to be more patient, no matter how difficult it might be.

6. Be more tolerant toward people, even toward people you don't like.

7. Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. You can disagree with people, but still maintain tact and diplomacy.

8. Choose to react calmly and peacefully in every situation. Try again and again, regardless of how many times you lose control and get angry.

9. Positive thinking makes it easier to disregard remarks and behavior that otherwise could cause anger.

10. Try to manifest at least some self-control, self-discipline and more common sense.

11. Don't take everything too seriously. It is not worth it.

12. Find reasons to laugh more often.

http://www.successconsciousness.com

12 Tips to Overcome Laziness

By Remez Sasson

What is laziness? It is a state of idleness and inner resistance to exerting effort and acting. It is a state of passivity and of letting things stay as they are. Sometimes we enjoy being a little lazy, such as after working hard for several hours, or on a very cold or warm day, but if this state occurs too often, something has to be done about it.

In order to perform our chores and work efficiently, and to live a full, active and successful life, we must learn how to overcome laziness.

Here are a few simple tips for overcoming laziness, which I hope you will find useful:

1) Break down a task into smaller tasks
We often avoid tasks because we find them too big, too overwhelming, too tiring or taking too much of our time. Breaking a task into several smaller tasks can solve this problem. Then each one will not seem so difficult or intimidating. Instead of having one big task, we will have a series of small tasks, which do not require too much effort. This approach can be applied not only to tasks, but also to goals and everything else we have or need to do. This will tend to melt much of the laziness and inner resistance we often experience.

2) Rest sleep and exercise
In some cases, laziness is due to being tired and lacking energy. If this is true in your case, you need to give yourself the rest and sleep you need, and also give your body enough exercise and fresh air.

3) Motivation
In some cases, the reason for laziness is due to lack of motivation. You can strengthen your motivation through affirmations, visualization and thinking about the importance of performing your task or chore or achieving your goal.

4) Have a vision of what and who you want to be
Frequently reflecting on the person we want to be, the goals we want to achieve, and the life we want to live, can motivate us to act.

5) Think about benefits
Think about the benefits you will gain if you overcome your laziness and take action, instead of thinking about the difficulties or obstacles. Focusing on the difficulties of the task or action lead to discouragement, avoidance of taking action and to laziness. It is important that you focus your mind and attention on the benefits, not on the difficulties.

6) Thinking about the consequences
Think about what will happen, if you succumb to laziness, and don't perform your task or chore. Thinking about the consequences, if you do not act, can also push you to take action.

7) Doing one thing at a time
Focus on doing one thing at a time. If you feel you have a lot to do, you will probably feel overwhelmed and let laziness overcome you, instead of you overcoming laziness.

8) Visualization
Your imagination has a great influence on your mind, habits and action. Visualize yourself performing the task easily, energetically and enthusiastically. Do so before starting with a task or goal, and also when you feel lazy, or when your mind whispers to you to abandon what you are doing.

9) Repeat affirmations
Tell yourself:
"I can accomplish my goal."
"I have the energy and motivation to act and do whatever I want or have to do."
"Doing things makes me stronger."
"Doing things makes things happen."

10) Regards a task as an exercise
Consider each task as an exercise to make you stronger, more decisive and more assertive.

11) Procrastination
Avoid procrastination, which is a form of laziness. If there is something you have to do, why not do it right now and get through with it? Why let it stay nagging at the back of your head?

12) Learn from successful people
Watch successful people, and how they do not let laziness win. Learn from them, talk with them and associate with them.

Overcoming the habit of laziness is achieved through a series of daily actions and activities, when you choose to act, instead of remaining passive. Every time you overcome your laziness you get stronger. Every time you choose to act, you increase your ability to win, achieve goals and improve your life.

Related Articles:
How to overcome laziness
Exercises for developing inner strength and overcoming laziness

 http://www.successconsciousness.com

Getting Results From Self Improvement Techniques

By Remez Sasson

Do you sometimes hear yourself or other people say: "I have tried positive thinking, and I have repeated affirmations, I have meditated and yet nothing happened"? The fact is that few people use self-improvement or positive thinking techniques correctly, and fewer still do so earnestly and whole-heartedly.
You may start enthusiastically making affirmations for a few days, waiting for miracles, yet nothing spectacular happens. This makes you lose your enthusiasm and any confidence you had, and you disappointedly stop affirming.
You may start visualizing something you want to accomplish or get, but when after a few days the object of your desire does not drop on your head from the sky, you lose your faith and stop visualizing.
Maybe you have begun to meditate, but after a week or two saw no bright lights, neither experienced any altered state of consciousness. This made you conclude that meditation is just a waste of time.
Self-improvement and positive thinking methods work and bring results, but only if they are used correctly. You cannot build a building, a bridge or an airplane, without the proper knowledge, training and preparation, and following instructions and rules. Self-improvement and positive thinking methods should be approached in the same manner. You need to know how to use these techniques.
It is not enough to say for a few moments, "I am achieving my goal, I am happy, I have money", and then revert to negative thinking and worrying. There is no magic in repeating a few words for a few moments.
How can you expect to accomplish anything by visualizing, and at the same time worrying and having doubts about your ability to get what you are visualizing?
How can you get any positive results if you sit for meditation, but instead of meditating you think about all kinds of irrelevant matters?
Success comes only if you fully and whole-heartedly desire what you are affirming or visualizing and concentrate on the task. In order to see results you have to show interest and earnestness and do your best. Your inner vision should be strong enough to propel you forward, no matter how negative your current situation is, and despite any failures you may experience.
If you think, visualize, affirm or meditate for a few minutes, and then for the rest of the day think negatively, you neutralize or destroy all your positive thoughts, mental images and affirmations.
Self improvement techniques and positive thinking work and bring results, if you are determined to succeed, follow the instructions correctly, persevere and do not let lack of faith, laziness and procrastination stand in your way. You need to give these methods time to work.
If you practice them as an unpleasant task, with no attention and concentration, how do you expect them to work? Be willing to devote time, energy and effort, where and when necessary. Success in self-improvement and positive thinking methods requires that you become involved, motivated and be willing to give them enough time to bring results.
Sometimes things happen in such a way that you could label them as miracles, but most of the time things happen in a more natural and gradual way. Inner changes will start to manifest, and will lead to outer change. Doors will open, people will help, circumstances and situations will change, and new constructive ideas will come up, all of which will bring the desired changes and improvements.

 http://www.successconsciousness.com

A Simple Self-Improvement Technique

By Remez Sasson
Self-improvement can turn into an enjoyable, rewarding and empowering activity. Look at the people around you and watch how they behave. If you find a trait of character or a certain behavior, which you do not like, examine yourself closely and as impartially as possible, and find out whether you act or behave in the same way. If you do, then think and visualize how you would like to behave in a similar situation. Then, whenever you have the time, perform mental rehearsals of the new behavior. Visualize yourself in the same situation, but acting in the way you want to behave.
Think often about the importance and advantages of a changed and more positive behavior. Tell yourself again and again that you will remember to act differently the next time you are in a situation or circumstances that trigger the behavior patterns that you want to change.
At the first attempts you will probably forget to act as desired, but keep visualizing and thinking about the new behavior patterns, and you will see how you gradually change.
Whenever you see people acting in a way that brings them positive results, analyze what they are doing, their body language and the way they are talking and acting, and try to act and behave the same. If you keep doing so, you will soon start to see changes in yourself and in your life.
The advantage of this technique is that you can use it everywhere, anytime, without any prior preparations. Furthermore, this can turn in to a pleasurable game. You can use this technique while waiting for someone or something, while sitting on a bench in a park or while traveling in a bus or train. You can use your time more advantageously, instead of just letting the time pass by.
Two examples of this self-improvement technique:
You see one of your co-workers acting angrily. You watch his body language and the tone of his voice and see how people avoid him because of that. Now, look into yourself with an unbiased eye, and find out if you are guilty of the same kind of behavior. If you are not, that's okay, but if you are, think about the consequences of this behavior and the advantages of acting differently. Think how a calm and happy attitude can change your life and how people would treat you.
The next step is to visualize yourself in circumstances that trigger the kind of behavior you wish to avoid, and to see yourself acting in a new and positive manner. Rehearse in your mind, in detail, how you would like to act, so that when you encounter this situation, your subconscious mind will guide you to act as you visualized. Mentally rehearsing the new behavior will remind you to act so in real life, and will also motivate and direct you to act accordingly.
Here is another example. You enter a shop and ask the saleswoman some questions. She is patient, calm and answers all of your questions politely and with a smile. Her behavior causes you to feel good and to like her, which may consequently make you to desire to buy something from her.
Analyze the behavior of the saleswoman, and see what you can do to emulate her. Tell yourself over and over again that you too, are going to behave politely and patiently. Visualize yourself in various situations that usually make you angry and impatient, and ask yourself why you behave in that way. Then start visualizing yourself acting and talking in a calm, polite and patient manner in your day-to-day life.
It is important to understand that thinking and visualizing just once is not enough. You need to do so over and over again every day, even several times a day, until you see results.
The above two examples are only meant to illustrate how to make use of this self-improvement technique. Maintain an open mind, open your eyes, desire to improve yourself, learn from others, affirm and visualize, and your life will begin to change.

 http://www.successconsciousness.com

Self Improvement and Self Growth

By Remez Sasson

Nowadays, the terms, self improvement, self growth and self help have become popular. We find many books about these subjects and many websites too. It seems that people are turning inside to find the solution to their problems. They seek knowledge, techniques, workshops, lectures, and teachers, who can show them the way. People begin to understand that self improvement and self growth can improve the quality of life.

The subconscious mind is one of the major keys to self improvement and self growth. By changing the contents of the subconscious mind you change your habits, behavior and attitudes. This is brought about through visualization, affirmations, meditation and by analyzing behavior and habits.

The process of inner change requires inner work.
It is not enough to read articles and books. You also have to practice what you read, and this requires time and effort. There is no such thing as instant self improvement. Inner changes take some time, and there must be motivation, desire, ambition, perseverance and dedication. Outer and inner resistance and opposition must be taken into account too. When you start practicing a self improvement program, it is common to encounter inner resistance that comes from your old habits and from your subconscious mind, and also resistance and opposition from the people around you.

The desire to change, build new habits and improve must be strong enough to resist any laziness, desire to give up and the ridicule or opposition from family, friends or colleagues.

Personal experience
Let me tell you something about myself. I have been drawn to self improvement techniques from an early age, and have regarded them as a source for inner strength, happiness and a way to a better life. One of the most useful techniques that I have discovered was a simple, but very effective technique. It consisted of watching how people behaved and acted in various situations, and then looking inside myself, to find out if I behaved in the same way under the same conditions.

When I saw people with certain traits of character, or a certain kind of behavior that I did not like, I examined myself to see whether I possessed them too. If I did, I visualized and rehearsed in my mind a different sort of behavior. In my mind's eye, I saw myself with the opposite traits of character. I visualized myself in various situations, in which I manifested the new behavior.

When I encountered traits of character or behavior, which I liked, I used to think about their advantages and benefits, and about their importance in my life. Here too, I used visualization and affirmations, and endeavored to enact them in my daily life.

In this way, I have learned and benefited a lot from the behavior and actions of the people around me, at work, at home, in the street and everywhere else, from people in real life, and from watching people on the screen. It was never for the purpose of judging them or taking advantage of them, but for learning how to act, react and behave in a better way. This process had another benefit. It increased the knowledge about how the mind and thoughts influence the behavior and actions of people.

Instructions for self improvement and growth technique

1. Look around you and watch how people behave in various circumstances. Watch the people you meet at home, work, at the supermarket, on the bus, train and on the street. Watch and learn also from people interviewed on TV, and also from movies.

2. Watch how people talk, walk and react, and how they are consequently, treated by others.

3. Pay attention to the way people use their voice and how they react to others' voices. Watch how you feel and act when people shout or speak softly. Watch what happens when people get angry, restless and upset and what happens if they are calm and relaxed.

4. If you do not like what you see, analyze what and why you do not like it, and then analyze your own behavior to find out whether you behave in the same way. Be honest and impartial in your analysis.

5. When you discover that you possess some of these undesirable traits of character and behavior, affirm to yourself often, that every time you express these traits or behavior, you are going to be aware of them, and do your best to avoid them.

6. Play in your mind a mental scene of how you would like to behave. Repeat it several times a day, every day.

7. When you detect in someone a sort of behavior or character traits you like and desire to possess, try to act in a similar way. Here too, visualize several times each day a scene, where you act and behave in that different way.

8. You can also decide to change some habit and behavior patterns and develop new ones, because you believe they are necessary and beneficial, even without seeing them in others first.

9. Think and visualize over and again in your mind how you would like to act and behave. Constantly remind yourself of the changes you desire to make, and strive to act according to them. Every time that you find yourself acting according to your old habit, remember your decision to change and improve, and act accordingly.

10. Do not be disappointed or frustrated if you do not attain fast results. It does not matter how many times you fail or forget to behave as you desired. Persevere with your efforts and never give up, and you will begin to see how you and your life change.

Related Articles on Self Improvement and Personal Development at the:
Self Improvement Blog

How To Improve Motivation In Children

How To Improve Motivation In Children 

 by: Cindy Jett, LICSW

There can be many reasons that a child displays a lack of motivation. He may be afraid of failure, he may not enjoy the task at hand or feel it is irrelevant, his negative thinking may be an obstacle, or he may be overwhelmed by the process of setting goals. Below are some strategies that address these various issues, and help you to motivate your child to pursue his passions and goals.

1. Help your child find his passion.
If he seems to love music, get him the guitar he covets, and then encourage him to earn money for lessons. There is nothing as motivating as passion. And passion can’t be manufactured, it has to be found through exploration. So encourage your child to explore what interests him.

2. Teach problem solving.
Help children adapt to changes and obstacles in their path. Perhaps a child has decided he want to learn to play the guitar, but he can’t afford guitar lessons. Ask him if there is a way he can earn money to pay for guitar lessons. Perhaps he can work in the local music shop? Or perhaps there is another job which is less fulfilling but higher paying? He may be motivated to get a job so that he can pursue his passion. If you can link things such as doing well in school to pursuit of his passion, your child will become more motivated to do well. Your child will learn that sometimes he will have to do things he doesn’t particularly like in order to do what he wants later on.

3. Address a fear of failure.
If your child refuses to take risks, or explore new things, it may be because he has a pronounced fear of failure. Talk to the anxious child about his fear of failure. Some kids feel there is no room for failure because they feel that if they fail, they will lose respect, social status, or love. Achievement is being confused with the inherent value of a person. Let him know he is loved and valuable regardless of his achievements. Emphasize the value of exploration, rather than the end point.

4. Set goals.
Help your child to set goals to achieve what he wants. Encourage him to think of goals as guideposts. Teach your child how to break an overarching goal into smaller achievable goals to encourage his progress along the way.

5. Look out for negative thinking.
Negative thinking kills motivation and initiative. To spot negative thinking, listen for words such as always, never, no one and everyone. Some examples might be “No one will ever like me” (Why take the initiative to make friends then?) or “I always fail my math tests” (Why try then?). Discuss with your child why black and white statements like this are simply untrue. Teach them to reframe their thinking in a more accurate and positive light.

About The Author Cindy Jett, LICSW is a psychotherapist and author of Harry the Happy Caterpillar Grows, an acclaimed picture book that helps children adapt to change. See Cindy’s website for information on helping kids adapt to change and build resilience: Harry the Happy Caterpillar .

Article Source: http://www.articlecity.com/articles/parenting/article_2742.shtml